im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
