I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
