My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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