I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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