how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
