remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
