drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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