I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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