Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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