In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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