if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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