i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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