I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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