You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
