I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So many bounce houses so little time
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I had to cum in my sink.
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