You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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