3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
