im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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