I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
