I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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