I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
