STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
