my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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