if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
