Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Randomize
