we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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