She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
