is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
