I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
