FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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