He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
