Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
MIDGETS
????
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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