In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
