my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
