His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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