Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
