It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
