I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
