I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
