remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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