U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
