new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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