Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
