i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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