If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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