Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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