Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
