two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
