If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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