I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
